Blow Out: A Cautionary Tale

Just before we started to get fit, we quit our gym membership and decided that if we finally did get motivated to lose weight, we would do it on our own for a while. Sadly I had not planned on ever going back to the gym. I was almost at the point of no return in my mind. I know that it's never too late for your body (in most cases) but your mind can do a hell of a lot of damage to your progress by being stubborn and acting like a four year old. Mine would say things like "I don't wanna!" or "You can't make me!" and my personal favorite " Your not the boss of me you doody head!" My mind can be a very interesting place sometimes.
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We decided that just in case our gray matter grew up, we should have some bikes on hand to ride. there was always walking, but we like riding bikes. There is nothing better than putting the head phones in and hitting the road on a brisk early morning ride with no cars to avoid. Zen like really.

After we joined the site, our minds had a growth spurt and are in college now working on their masters degrees as opposed to finger painting and trying to look up girls dresses on the swings at recess. Now we look for excuses to get some calorie burning in whenever possible. I wish we still had the gym membership, but maybe it's better this way. When I am at the gym I feel like I have to keep up with all the Beefcake around me. I tend to lose my focus because I am too concerned with what others are lifting, how fast they are running or how much they are sweating.

I decided I would take my bike to work as often as the weather would permit. It is a 10 mile round trip and has a good amount of variety as far as the terrain goes. There are some small hills to challenge me and some nice flat spots to keep things moving in a steady direction. Much like my life.

My favorite time to ride is early in the morning when the mother sucking cars are tucked away in their garages far from potentially running me down. Their inconsiderate drivers fast asleep dreaming of being completely distracted while they drive, almost killing every pedestrian withing 20 feet of their shiny metal boxes (Yes that is a lyric from a song. I will give a sparkle goodie to the first person to tell me what song it is.)

I was on my way to work this morning in my usual fashion. Had my route all planned, ear buds implanted and my favorite road mix on the iPod blasting away. My trusty messenger bag was at my side, with all my food for the day tucked inside, and I was on my way.

Now I am certainly not the only person out on the road riding a bike. Like the gym rats I dealt with before, there are several types of riders I deal with now. Three to be specific. Rider number one is what I refer to as, The Roadie. You've seen them, dressed from head to toe in spandex, their bikes looking like the latest military technology with a crap load of reflectors adorning their apparel. They whiz by with an air of superiority as if to say "Loser! Get out of the way! Your fat ass can't touch me!." I despise Roadies. I am sure in person they are very nice people, but there must be something about the spandex that makes them go douchey as soon as they put it on.

Next on the list are what are referred to as Fixies. Fixies ride bikes that have no breaks. The crank system is a FIXED gear configuration, which means that there is no freewheeling or coasting. If they stop pedaling, the bike stops moving. The bikes are expensive and very minimal in their design and the Police hate them with a passion. You will see a lot of messenger type people riding these types of bikes because they are lite and fast. Like the Roadies, it is definitely a life style. Instead of spandex they wear skinny jeans that are sheered to just below the knee and frayed. They usually wear slip on vans with either booty socks or no socks at all and about 90 percent of them smoke cigarettes, drink PBR (Pabst Blue Ribbon), and weigh practically nothing. Regardless of what I think about either of these groups I applaud their willingness to get some exercise and help save the environment.

Last but not least there are the Average Joe's like my self (and probably most of you) that use the bike to get from point A to point B or as some form of exercise. No fancy dress code or club initiations. Just plain old bike riding folk. I like us.

I have observed that one of the side effects of being a POS (a person of size not he other thing), is the fact that I have developed a habit of judging those who are not like me, as I am sure, they often judge me. But while their judgement is based a lot of times on pure ignorance, my judgement comes from a very jealous part of me that really wants what they have. My sarcasm towards them is a defense mechanism to make myself feel better.

With that being said, when I am riding my bike the Roadies and the Fixies actually become like the people in the shiny metal boxes. Road Hazards to avoid! Why? Sometimes I am so busy worrying about or judging them through my jealousy that am not paying attention to the smaller obstacles and hazards the road has to offer as well. Things like nails, screws, glass and in my neck of the woods, one of the most sinister of the lot...the dreaded Goat Weed Thorns! These little bastards are hard to see and when you run over them they can puncture your tire and render your bike useless in minutes.

The point of the tale? Well, you guessed it, I ran over one this morning while I was mentally chastising a local Roadie. As I felt my tire deflate, I began to dread the the 6 block walk of shame to my office, dragging a limp hunk of metal the whole way. As I struggled to get to my destination I realized that if I had only been paying attention to the road and focused on my self, I would not be in this situation. Now the epiphany.

Changing your life is not an easy process people. It gets even harder when you are constantly worried about what everybody else is doing or how they look. Sometimes it is easy to lose sight of yourself and why you wanted to change in the first place. It becomes more about vanity than anything else and as we all know, when results are slow to come and we have an unreasonable expectation of looking a certain way we can sabotage ourselves. before we know it we are dragging our selves down the street with our heads hung low and ashamed that we failed once again.

So I learned my lesson well and will definitely apply it to my new healthy lifestyle. I will always watch the road, keep my eyes my own paper and be on look out for even the smallest of hazards that could derail my progress and knock me off the road to happiness.