Oh, Grow Up!

This morning I read a comment someone had left on a blog of mine. The comment involved the idea that, inside of all of us there is an adult and a child. Her observation was that the child had been running her life for so long, it had totally screwed things up. Finally the adult had to step in and mop up the mess.
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As I read through the comment, I was reminded of something that happened recently with my 17 year old daughter and a nine word text message that spoke volumes about the frustrations we have when it's time to grow up and take responsibility for ourselves. That place where the adult takes over and the child in us is retired.

I will never forget the surprise retirement party that we had for my inner child. Well, it wasn't so much a party as a good swift kick in the ass and a big cake with a three word inscription that said, "Andy, I'm pregnant." Yes, the early retirement party was due to the fact that the child in me (Andy) was going to be a father in just under nine months. Andy wasn't expecting to retire for another couple years at least and he certainly wasn't in an all fired hurry to be responsible for another life.

For a few weeks after the retirement party all Andy could do was panic. The lofty ambitions of being a rock star came crashing down around him in a, Buddy Holly style, ball of flames. Oh he went through every emotion any teenage father goes through when they find out about their impending offspring.

He called an old co-worker and found out that his job was still open, but he couldn't come back unless the kid was no longer a factor. That much responsibility would seriously hinder his work performance. He really excelled at being a child. It was his first job actually, and he was damn good at it! Definitely legendary in the field. So he began to try and get his girlfriend to help him get back to work by making a series of really bad suggestions.

For the first suggestion an appointment was made and paperwork was filled out. All t's crossed and i's dotted. They both tossed and turned in the nights before the appointment that would have her soon breathing for one again. But no matter how badly he wanted his old job back, there he couldn't pressure her into going through that. Deep in his heart he never wanted it to be that way and she certainly wasn't for it. Andy could see in her eyes that she was getting closer and closer to her own retirement. Needless to say there was one less procedure preformed that day.

The second suggestion found them sitting in a small lobby filling out paperwork again. A big contrats to the place involved in the fist suggestion. There it was like a library. Here the cries of children coming from the back room meeting potential new parental units filled every square foot of the offices. They felt like children being scolded for misbehaving as they handed in the forms and the receptionist eyed them judgmentally. Fortunately the adoption worker assigned to their case was running late that day. After what felt like an eternity they looked at each other and telepathically made the biggest decision of their young lives. They both got up and walked out. In that moment Andy succumbed to his retirement and made way for the person that would eventually become Drew.

It certainly wasn't easy but it was time. He knew that eventually Drew would have to surface and with a baby on the way there was no time like the present. Things were hard and they struggle with the weight of being adults.

They started their life together and got to the business of raising the new baby boy that had come into their lives. Drew worked hard to support the fledgling family and took whatever job he could. He also tried to continue his education in order to build a better life for them.

Well, I'd like to tell you that it was that cut and dry. But like all things worthwhile in life, it didn't come that easy. Shortly after the boy was born, Andy managed to find his way back out of retirement. He did his level best to make sure that his dreams of becoming a rock star were realized. Like Jekyll and Hyde they engaged in a risky game of fence riding. By day Drew would take care of his commitments and at night Andy would chase his dreams. A solid plan on paper, but what they failed to realize was that it would soon come down to one or the other. They both required a heavy amount of commitment and sacrifice to be successful. Once again that damn "Adult Thing" reared it's ugly head and it nearly cost Drew the love of his life.

In the end it was Drew that prevailed. The family grew by one, a little girl, and they moved on to the next stages of life and the inevitable hurdles that would require jumping in the race for happiness. A race that would require honesty, love, hopes, dreams and a new set of goals in order to cross the finish line together.

I'm happy to say that Andy moved on into retirement with out too much fuss this time. He visits Drew every once in a while when the need for a play date presents itself. They reminisce about the glory daze of the rock n' roll life that almost was, both realizing that making a true and honest commitment to being an adult was the wiser choice.

My decision to change my life and take control of my health was the same as when I chose to accept my responsibilities two decades ago and be the best father I could be. It is eerie how the two journeys parrallel one another. As a father I have made good choices and bad. My road to a healthier life has been no different. The most important part of both was the day I decided to grow up and never look back!

Oh! What were the nine words in my daughters text message? Well, let's just say she is not quite ready for retirement, and no she's not pregnant.