It's The Little Things

Over the weekend my wife and I went to a big warehouse store to do some food shopping. Not only are these club stores gleaming bastions of commerce, but they also allow the health conscious to buy the things they need in large amounts. We regularly stock up on proteins there as well as cruise the isle just for the hell of it. It's good exercise. Those places are huge! A couple times around the outer perimeter and you've burned a good 100 calories.
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Another item in which bulk makes sense for us is dog food. With two Labs, the food gets woofed down pretty quickly. The more we have on hand, the less we have to worry about running to the store late at night when we have realized we are out of food for them. It works out pretty well with the exception of the sheer size of the bags. They don't carry anything less than 40 pounds. Great price, but huge bag.

We had done our lap around the store weaving in and out of the isles making sure to look at every little thing regardless of whether we needed it or not. By the time we reached the mile long lines ( I gotta remember not to go there on Saturdays) our basket was bulging with proteins like cottage cheese, lunch meat, chicken breasts, eggs. There were some carbs like Thin Buns and Multi-Grain Cherrios, as well as a barrel of multi-vitamins, more socks than humanly necessary and the of course a mammoth bag of dog food.

Check out went smoothly and we were off to have our receipt half-heartedly scrutinized on the way out. The trip to the car was the usual game of Frogger, dodging all the cars filled with clueless drivers desperately looking for the closest spot to the entrance (God forbid they should walk a little ways). We managed to find our Silver SUV, in the in the sea of other Silver SUVs, thanks to the magnet our son hand made with his art on it, just for the purpose of making our car stand out in parking lots. The car was loaded and we were on our way home.

We pulled in front of the house and proceeded to take our loot inside. It took a couple of trips for sure. We evetually reached neared the end of it and I grabbed the last of the small stuff. All that was left was the of dog food. Being as my hands were full, the wife decided she would grab the dog food and schlep it in to feed the mutts, that somehow could smell it in the car from the house. I dropped my awkward payload on the counter and went back out to the car to make sure nothing was left behind.

As I walked out the front door, I could see my wife genuinely struggling with the ginormous bag. As she hoisted it onto her shoulder we both looked at each other and, due to the fact we share a brain after 20 years of marriage, both began to make the same observation. I was thinking it but she blurted it out.

Her : "Do you realize you have lost this entire bag of dog food?"
Me:   "I was just about to say the same thing"
Her:  "Come carry this. Just hold it for a second"

As I grabbed the bag from her, two thoughts ran through my head. First off, that was a pretty tricky way to get me to carry the bag into the house. Secondly...WOW! This was a lot of weight. I could immediately feel the stress it put on my joints and feet. A feeling that was practically a distant memory until this huge reminder. Thinking about it even further, I realized that I still had two and a half more bags of this stuff to lose.

We both began to marvel at the fact that not only have I lost this much, but she is damn close to doing it as well. Then I began to think about all the things I used to do with 40 more pounds on my frame. All the little things that we never realized were so difficult especially now that they were so easy for me. Forget running, riding a bike or walking up stairs without going into cardiac arrest. It's the little things like:

Tying your shoes.
Bending over without blacking out as your circulation gets cut off and all blood to your head ceases to exist.

Getting up off the couch.
A task made more difficult due to the fact it is so old it has lost all it's firmness and is sitting on the ground because we lost the feet to it during the move into this house.

Getting in and out of a compact car.
I felt like I was getting into a clown car. (Singing in the style of Tommy Boy) Fat guy in a little car...

Standing at a concert for three hours.
Holy crap! This sucks even when you don't have an extra 150 pounds on your body.

Flying on a plane.
It is soooo embarrassing to ask for the seat belt extender. Not to mention being unable to move, even the slightest, in your seat.

Sitting in a booth at a restaurant.
This sucks! Even if I sat at the table, they usually had arms on the chairs and I would still have to stuff myself into them.

Fitting in a movie theater seat.
See above statement about stuffing my wideness into narrow seats.

Playing with the dogs.
Running was totally out and I would get tired after only 20 minutes. As result they have gained weight. Being heavy can affect others too.

Shopping.
Walking up and down is physically painful, not to mention the mental anguish that comes from not being able to find anything in your size at a regular store. Instead you are relegate to the specialty big and tall stores that seem to think my fashion sense has somehow been altered just because I am a big guy. Man some of those clothes are ugly!

Bending over to pick something up.
In public I could feel the eyes on me as if I was some freak show spectacle. It was almost as if there was group of people crowding around behind me all taking bets, yelling and screaming like in the movies."$50 buck says he can't do it without bending his knees!"

Clipping your toe nails.
Not being able to shove your knee up against your chest and cut them is a drag. Mine would get so long sometimes my shoes wouldn't fit or were painful to wear until I took care of it somehow. I would have to get pedicures do deal with the situation.

Having sex.
Being so fat your testosterone levels are low is not a good sign. Just getting into the mood was an ordeal. Not to mention lack of stamina. Enough said about this one.

As I sat and thought about it, I just shook my head at how pathetic not being able to do those things was. I am happy to report that all of the above areas have improved immensely since losing a bag of dog food. I wonder what life will be like when I lose two and a half more of those things. It's been so long I forgot what it felt like. I definitely can't wait to be reminded!