In the Company of Dangers

Substance abuse can be a real bitch to over come! Addicts will tell you that the first month of sobriety is the most difficult to get through. Regardless of the amount of support you have, the cravings and feelings of not having that crutch are strong like the force. The first step, they say, is to remove the temptations and get through the withdraw. Once they are clean, a smart addict will divorce themselves from all areas of the old life they once knew. Old friends, old haunts and even loved ones that, for whatever reason, can't or won't be supportive in their new found direction. Removing all temptation to stray, at least until they are strong enough to stand on their own and have the strength to say no.
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Unlike substance abuse or sexual addiction, overcoming a food addiction is a lot more problematic. With substance abuse you no longer need to continue to use once the need is gone from your system. Sex addicts can burn their little black book, avoid the strip clubs and put net nanny software on their computers to lessen the temptations. With food addiction though, you can't escape it. You have to eat! You are constantly reminded with every bite of food you take what this tasted like or that tasted like. As you sit and feed your face with healthier choices, all the while in the back of your mind you are remembering this taste or that. There are restaurants on every corner and forget watching TV. Food commercials are a constant reminder of what you are missing out on. Hell! It's hard to make broccoli look seductive unless you are smothering it with some kind of cheese sauce. It would sure be a lot easier if food was not a necessary part of life. But it is.

The only thing that we can do as food addicts, is to change our evil ways and do our best to avoid being in a situation that could trigger a relapse. We can stay away from restaurants, have healthy snacks in our cars, take another way home to avoid the local burger joint, avoid those naughty aisle in the store and bring your lunch to work instead of going out for it. All sensible things. But sometimes even the best laid plans don't always go smoothly. Case in point? The pesky office party! Here are two stories of recent company functions that tested my fledgeling will power to it's ultimate breaking point.

We have all been there. The dreaded company birthday bashes. You know the drill. An email is sent calling all to leave the comfort and safety of their cubicles and venture to the break room, where you proceed to sing happy birthday in your best out key voice. There are some pleasantries, a few agist jokes cracked and then out go the candles. Someone maniacally plunges a knife into the the soft flesh of what at that moment is your sweet tooth's nemesis and proceeds to dole out the calories on decorative little plates. Sometimes with ice cream in tow.

There was one such ritual in my office the other day much like the one described above. At least I think so. Like the good little recovering addict I am, I decided to forgo the festivities and sit quietly at my desk ignoring the refrains of happy birthday being butchered by my co-workers.

The party soon ended and everyone was back to the daily grind. Whew! I made it through that one. I was safe. Bullet number one dodge. Or so I thought.

About an hour later, the woman in charge of putting those shindigs on came up from behind with a plate of the worst thing that could ever be shoved in my face. Cheesecake! My Kryptonite! She proceeded to ask me if I wanted to have a piece and I vigilantly declined. To add insult to injury, she then proceeds to move the plate closer to my face and asks "are you sure?" Choking down the saliva forming in my mouth, I once again thanked her and declined. Bullet number two dodged.

Feeling proud of myself, I decide to reward my valiance with an afternoon snack of yogurt and cottage cheese. The closet thing to Cheesecake I was gonna let hit my lips or my hips. I ventured to the break room fridge and opened the door not even realizing what I could encounter. Yup! The rest of the Cheesecake was sitting right next to my pale little treat. With a trembling hand I reached for my snack and closed the fridge quickly! I scurried back to my desk and dove straight into my meal. Bullet number three dodged!

I really didn't think I was gonna make it through that.

All week the office was a buzz with talk of a company party that was going to happen over the weekend. I once again, at the risk of being branded a party pooper and pissing my boss off, decided to make up some lame excuse for my not being there and left it at that. Based on the birthday bashes we have every couple of weeks or so, I knew the party would be full of some of the most calorie laden food you could think of. Once again, I felt that I had prevailed. I had managed to face temptation and exercise it's evil intention with all the zeal of a Catholic Priest with a new batch of holy water and a lust to kick some demon ass. Well... the demon reared it's ugly head once again.

Feeling a bit peckish, I walked into the the break room, that I have by now dubbed "The Battlefield", to get my humble little lunch. Low and behold what do think was strewn all over the table? Yup. You guessed it. All the left over food from the party that had just transpired. My god! Ribs, butter and rolls, pasta salad, potato salad, greasy this and yummy that. The smell alone should have sent me off the deep end. But it didn't. I calmly walked to the fridge, grabbed my lunch and left the battlefield with all my limbs in tact. I had won. My weapon was will power and the fact that I had my family an entire community of people behind me. I knew that the army I had recently become a part of, would help me win this small skirmish in what will end up being the war to end all wars for me.

So, thank you my fellow soldiers for keeping me focused on my training in the face of certain dietary death. And remember that no soldier gets left behind.

Semper Fi! (Always Faithful)