New Life Support

I had always tried to approach my weight loss with a very militant, suppress your feelings, suck it up and just do it kind of attitude. I never shared my feelings with others nor did I think I would have thought so much about how I got where I am from a poundage perspective. After all it was about the work out and the diet right? All i had to think about was the calories in calories out.
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Now I am a voyeur by nature. My size has made me stick out like a sore thumb in my daily life. Walking down the street or going to the store, it is hard to ignore the glances I get from judgmental eyes. So the ananimity the cyber world provides is a welcome relief to how the physical world sees me. I only show what I want to. I don't need to tell anybody what my age is or where I live, much less how much I weigh. I have been a part of all kinds of web communities as a lurker. Never in the history of my involvement in any online community, have I participated on a daily or even semi regular basis. Not like this one.

Over the last couple of weeks, since I joined SparkPeople.com, I have become a part of a community of people who I had never reached out to before. In finding this website I found a safe place to share who I am and what I am going through with a segment of humanity that really understands the struggle I have in my triple extra large world. It's a place to air my observations, ask questions and express my fears. All things that I have been taking full advantage of in the form of blogs.

My blogs have become way more personal than I ever intended them to be. They have also become popular with my new friends here. I would not look at my self the way I do in my blogs if it were not for the comfort I feel around the people on this site. Reading your stories and struggles, tells me that I am not a lone. Watching your progress and hearing about your successes, pushes me to keep the faith and to fight the good fight.

Everyday before I leave the house I try to read up on some of the things going on in your lives. When I am finished reading I always feel stronger and less vulnerable to what I am about to encounter out in the big bad world of culinary temptation. The words stick in my mind and seem to protect me like a suite of armor.

Lately I have started referring to you all as my SPFs (SparkPeopleFriends). The more I started to use the term, the more I noticed that the initials SPF were the same as those on tubes of sunscreen. What a perfect way to refer to the people who protect me from the harsh elements outside of the house. My SPF increases daily as I continue to get friend requests and add friends to help me build my level of protection.

So, thank you all my friends for reading my blogs, feeding me positive comments and sharing your hopes and experiences with me. I hope that you all have sufficient SPF to help you out when thing get hot and to help keep you from getting burned.

If you new to this site make sure you get involved. Read the posts and join a group or two. It is the best way to gather the friends necessary to help you see what you need to see and increase the protective power of your SPF. To hear what you need to hear to move your life forward and get yourself closer you want. The life that I am sure you have missed for a long time. I know I have. I have spent almost 15 years struggling to get my life back. Some have been struggling their entire lives. Trust me, the struggle can end here with the right level of involvement.

I still have a long way to go, but with my new found SPFs, I know I will get there sooner rather than later.